


oh, to be this way

by SpanditaSahoo



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Gen, Hero Sam Winchester, Hurt No Comfort, John Winchester's A+ Parenting, Sad, Sam Loves Dean, Sam is sad, Sammy is a good person, sad childhood, sam is a god bro, sam winchester has a hard life, sorry - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-26
Updated: 2018-03-26
Packaged: 2019-04-08 12:19:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 338
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14105244
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpanditaSahoo/pseuds/SpanditaSahoo
Summary: Sam Winchester doesn't believe that he is loved. Or that he should be.Alternatively, Sam saves a world that does not deserve a person as pure as Sam.I suck at summaries.





	oh, to be this way

**Author's Note:**

> just needed to get things off my chest, I hate how the show sometimes sidelines Sam's mental health and trauma.  
> *extends cookies for consolation if you are also frustrated by this*  
> comments and kudos literally make my whole goddamn year :)  
> Show me some love on Tumblr, https://witches-of-the-new-world.tumblr.com/  
> Don't be afraid to message me or anything if you need to talk about literally anything, I'll always listen.

Sam Winchester was a hero. A goddamn hero, of biblical proportions. And he was never fighting for the perceived greater good, or some idea of the 'right' thing. He fought for one thing and one thing only: love. It was a tragedy that he believed that he didn't deserve it. That he had to keep fighting to earn it. That he had to always keep proving himself worthy of it. That love for him could never be unconditional and unending.

He saved the world from the apocalypse, from Lucifer himself on the strength of his love for his brother. All those millennia of plotting in the Cage, the one thing the Devil didn't quite count on was how much Sam Winchester could love his brother. There he was, standing on the precipice of the Pit, about to be sentenced to an eternity of hell locked in a supernatural prison with no one else but Lucifer - and he took the time to reassure his brother.

Little Sam Winchester, two years old and locked up in a dark room, facing his worst nightmare, his father on the other side of the door pushing him in and turning the key, so that he could be a better warrior. A better fighter. So, he could be unafraid. Little Sam Winchester, six years old a pistol in his hand, shooting beer cans off the window sill, so that he never misses a monster. Little Sam Winchester, twelve years old, burn marks and scrapes and scars from knife wounds, a kill under his belt. He'd been to ten different school in the last thirteen months and he couldn't quite keep track of all his subjects but god, did he know how to land a punch (and take one, too). Little Sam Winchester, seventeen years old, brimming with pride and shame and heartbreaking fear and guilt, holding an acceptance letter to Stanford, his father's loud rejection still ringing in his ears. He holds his brother once, and turns and leaves not quite so little, anymore.

**Author's Note:**

> its a small drabble I know. this was originally going somewhere bigger but kind of just died


End file.
